Rapport…your ticket to PLAY

If you want to be a player, you’ve got to get on the ground, and without rapport you’re just a spectator sitting in the stands.  We often hear the term ‘rapport building’ but what does it mean and how do we build it?  I love this explanation on Wiki:

Rapport is one of the most important features or characteristics of unconscious human interaction. It is commonality of perspective: being “in sync” with, or being “on the same wavelength” as the person with whom you are talking.

My personal definition is, “any conscious or unconscious action that builds a connection with another person”.  You can have the best ideas, the greatest passion, be an elite leader or own the most mind blowing, value adding product or service on the planet BUT if you cannot build rapport with people, it counts for NOTHING!  People buy and invest in PEOPLE…not products.  By the way, you do not have to be face-to-face with another person to build rapport.

ASK YOURSELF – How do you feel walking into a party, a seminar or even a meeting when you do not know anyone there?  Do you feel self conscious, awkward, dread, nervous, annoyed that you have to be there, expect that it will be tough or have you already spent some time crafting an intricate and water tight reason (escape plan) about why you have to leave early?  If you have any of these feelings, I have to tell you that you are in the minority because most people feel confident, relaxed and excited about meeting new people…ONLY JOKING! 

Meeting new people is daunting and stressful for over 95% of the population.  Now ask yourself this question, What are you doing to change the way you feel?  What is your strategy for taking your rapport building skills to the next level.   The most common response I get to this question is “NOTHING”.  This IS NOT a strategy!  This is a recipe for misery.  Work on your conversational skills and magic will happen.

Being able to walk in to ANY situation and feel totally relaxed, comfortable, confident and genuinely looking forward to meeting people is one of the greatest assets you can possess.  It’s actually just a simple skill, and like any skill, it can be learned.  In my 105 Performance Mastery Principles™, RAPPORT is a TOP TENPrinciple.  When (not IF) you can master rapport building you WILL attract people, opportunities, money and one in a million experiences to you like a MAGNET. 

I know what you’re thinking, “but what do I talk about?”.  I’m going to give you something I call rapport steroids.  

1. Experiences – we’ve done the same stuff

2. Enthusiasms – we like the same stuff

3. Beliefs – we believe in the same stuff

ANYTIME you can find a connection with someone on one of these levels you are MASSIVELY strengthening your connection with them.  I Know, I know, you’re still thinking, “but how the hell do I find that out?”.  Here are some simple options for you:

 - Compliment people about something they are wearing, a recent achievement, their contribution to a result, a quality you admire about them, a choice they made that you liked/agreed with, a courageous act

 - Ask questions, ASK Questions, ASK QUESTIONS!  I’m not talking about how are you and what do you do?  I’m talking about asking questions you would not normally ask.

- What are you looking forward to tonight/this weekend?

- What was the best thing about your weekend?

- Where do you go when you want some relaxing time away?

- What are your hobbies/passion/interests outside of work?

- What was the last movie you saw/book you read?

- What are you listeneing to on your iPod these days?

- What do you love about working here?

- Where did you go for your last holiday/where would like to go for your next holiday?

 - Talk about yourself, a recent experience or something that people may be surprised to know about you

 - Offer to get people drinks, cup of tea or food (this is if you’re at a function obvioulsy)

 - SMILE genuinely

 - Email an article, restaurant/book/CD/movie review, event invitation, sales brochure or any information of interest to someone you KNOW will appreciate it

 - Actively manage your social networks.  Make an effort to remember someone’s name and connect with them on a common social network.

ACTION STEP – Ask someone you do not normally speak to for lunch/coffee/drinks, have a conversation with the next person you buy something from, have the guts to approach a stranger at your next party/work function or even send an email to an old colleague/family member/past school friend to see what they’re up to and tell them what you’re up to.

Practice is the DNA of success.  So practice, practice, practice!  Winners TAKE ACTION – so do something within the next 24 hours (right now is even better).  This is what I did to build a network of 3 million PLUS. 

So START now and B-a-STAR

Explore posts in the same categories: Performance Mastery Principles™

Tags: Dave Lourdes, Mastery, Performance, Principles, Questions, Rapport

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